Back to Reality

Nana is beginning hospice care. Between her congestive heart failure and her recently failing kidneys, it is time. She is ninety three, she has lived an amazing and long life. But, its time for the rest of us to be okay with this. The past few years have really changed my relationship with my grandmother. Living with her for three years at the end of her life, I hope I was more a help than a burden. I know I was resentful and petty at times. It was just such a time of adjustment, watching her deteriorate, watching my children grow, watching myself channel my stress in the wrong directions. I know I made the right decision for my family and for Nana moving out this summer. And God was prepared. He sent Barb and Bill to our family and they have been great caretakers for Nana, much more diligent than I ever was.

I just pray this process is painless for her. I hope she is at peace. Now is the time to be together as a family and make sure Nana can enjoy all the wonderful branches to the tree she started. I wonder how everyone else is handling this. I wonder how much longer we have. So many thoughts.

An update on the rest of us:

Ben came home on Friday September 23, out of nowhere. He is now in a scheduling rotation at work in West Allis, not West Virginia. This rotation will last six months. Most likely the next rotation will also be in Wisconsin, as baby E or baby #3 is on the way. We are due around April 9, 2012.

We are beginning the extra craziness that is holiday prep for work. Charlotte is doing very well at school and Daphne is starting to use the potty. Life is good. My family is together. Anne, Matt and Phoebe are safe, sound, and only 5 hours away in Michigan. We are going to Elcho for Thanksgiving. God’s grace is being found in unexpected places.